Pain? Nooooo, I'm not in pain!
by jessdarkwater
Summary: tragedy befalls hiotmi kanzaki which forces her to find her way back to Gaia less than two months after she had left the planet
1. Prologue

Another escaflowne fic!! Soz to you peeps who find my stories boring! Well who cares? I sure don't!! As long as I get a few reviews I'm happy!!!!! Next chapter will be uploaded when I have the time and can actually be bothered to get off my arse!!!!  
  
Jess   
  
P.s HEHE  
Escaflowne - Pain? Nooooo, I'm not in pain!!!  
  
Prologue: -   
  
Images flashed before Hitomi's eyes. A girl sobbing as she left the one she loved. Her Mum dying, her Dad ending his life and her brother murdered. These were just a few of the things that had turned Hitomi's heart from love.  
  
When she had left Gaia, she was 15 and 10 months old. Now it was two months since her 'sweet sixteen'. More like 'bloody sixteen'   
  
Now she had nothing left. No friends. No family. Only a world she once felt that she belonged in.   
  
Hopefully, this time round it would do more for her.  
  
Sweet, fun-loving, caring, full of energy, optimistic Hitomi was gone. She (or it) had been replaced by an unloving, tortured, hard soul who wanted peace before she died. (Hopefully not too soon, otherwise there wouldn't be a point in this story!!!)  
  
As she prepared to run, she wished for the pillar of light, for revenge and for someone to care instead of the blank stares she had got at school and the orphanage.  
  
Hope I haven't let u down!!!! NOW I ORDER U 2 R/R!!!!!  
Hehe!!! 


	2. chapter 1

soz its bn a while but ive had lots of homework and the fact that ive been banned from ff.net didn't help much. i realise that these chapters are quite short but theres not much point to this story as in im still trying to work out da plot!!!! plz dont b mad. and thankx 4 da reviews!!!!!  
jess  
  
oh and da title will cum clear l8r on. (i hope!!!!!)  
Escaflowne - Pain? Nooooo, I'm not in pain!!!  
  
Chapter 1:-  
  
The pillar of light left everyone in Fanalia and the surrounding countries stunned.   
  
No sooner had Van (King Van to you!) to investigate and see who or what it was, then Hitomi ran into the Fanalian Palace Gardens.   
  
Van stared gobsmaked.  
  
Merle started laughing at Vans reaction til she looked at Hitomi and almost fainted.  
  
Dryden just looked amused. Whilst Millerna and Allen, Celena and Gaddes just looked curious. (A/N they were over because of sum stuff!?!?!?)  
  
Everyone else who had seen or known her just stood and stared. Then they gasped....Hitomi had fainted.  
  
Before them had stood (now lying) Hitomi Kanzaki, a teenager who had befriended them all. The person who laid before them now was still a teenager and she had the same name but that was where the similarities finished.  
  
The gawky gangly teenager had gone in its place was a hard, emotionless, muscled stranger who for the moment looked weak and in need of help.  
  
Within minutes though, the stranger had been carried inside and been looked at by the healer.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Hitomi came round to the quiet whispers of her friends and the healer.   
  
She frowned and got up. immeadiately allen pushed her back down again. The healer convinced she was on her deathbed ordered her to stay in bed for a week at least.  
  
Hitomi just laughed and pushed Allen off and was the victim of many protests and pushes. Hitomi pushed them all off and swore colourfully at them. They stared and Merle almost had her eyes pooping out.  
  
'What the fuck are you staring at Merle? Cat got your tongue!!! oh i forgot you ARE a cat. Silly off me to mistake you for a human being. oh well. ill be off!!! See ya!!!'  
  
And cackling with laughter she took off without a backwards glance, down the hallway.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
She proceded to try and find Van, since he had not been there and because she needed to talk to someone. but the palace had changed so she started at the bottom and methodically started to check the rooms for Van.  
  
She wished Folken was there. He had been so easy to talk to. He would've understood. But no he had died to save Van and everyone else. So she'd just have to hope Van would understand. What a fun talk this was gonna be. she pitied herself.  
  
As long as that long blonde haired Legolas lookalike isn't there with his evil, im such a stuck up prick of a sister Gaadriel she could deal (A/N sum of her views have changed if you hadn't noticed.)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
finally, she found Van. he was in his bedroom with everyone telling him how she had gone beserk on them. she knocked to make them realise that she had heard at least 5 mins of what they were saying.  
  
'WHAT are you wearing Hitomi and why are you......' for once Merle could not put her thoughts into words. It almost made her smile.   
  
i should have just let Merle use allen as a scratching post she thought absent mindly.  
  
' What?' she looked down at her clothes. she was wearing normal clothes from earth. a ripped black top with a pentacle on it. black combats and a chain. black studded boots. a dagger.  
  
'AND WHAT have you done to your face and your arms a.an..and...and. your hair?' stuttered Merle.  
  
Really there wasn't much to stutter in disbelief about. all she'd done was dye her hair black got a couple of tatoos and oh been knifed with a dagger so as that she had a big scar on her face.   
  
'Why have you got those pictures oh your arms Hitomi?' Merle questioned whilst everyone else just listened.  
  
' erm..... they're called tattoos. ive got a wolves head on my left arm, dagger on my right and barbed wire on my wrists. oh and a dragon'  
  
Van spoke up,'where's the dragon? i can't see it!'  
  
Hitomi pulled her top off and smiled when she saw everyone suddenly get embarrassed. she turned round.  
  
a dragons head was tattooed on her right shoulder and its neck was wrapped round her own neck. it followed through to the body which covered her whole back. its wings hugged her round the waist and the tail continued down past her trouser waistline. she turned back round so as they could see the detailed wings.   
  
'she saw gaddes and dryden eying the bottom of the dragon. amused she answered their silent question, ' the tail follows down to my left leg and is wound round it finishing at the ankle.'  
  
'would you care to elaborate about why youare back on gaia?' legolas asked excrutiatingly polite as usual.  
  
'well.....its a long story.....after leaving gaia i found my mother was dead of cancer,' she started bitterly,' my father committed suicide after finding he couldn't cope, and mamoru, mamoru was murdered by a gang of guys from his school whilst he was out on a date with one of the guys sisters.  
'so i was put in an orphanage. i hated myself and my family but even more i hated everyone measly being on earth. so i immersed myself in sword lessons, karate, my athletics and horse riding. within two weeks i had mastered all of them. the olympics were begging me to compete but i couldnt be bothered.  
Hitomi wasnt boasting, she was just telling it like it was.  
'soon after, i was kidnapped,' and this was where her voice began to falter,' there was a group of at least a dozen men of about allens age. try being tortured for three weeks in end, and....' she couldnt do it. she couldnt tell them the rest of it, but she had to, 'raped,' she shuddered,'four times over by each guy every single 2 hrs. it's a lot to ask.' she stopped and took in everyones horrified expressions. but van had pity in his too.  
  
'this body,' motioning hers,'is not my actual body it is one that i made with my wishes. it is different in that it can take on any shape or form, and can read minds and become invisible. oh and allen merle thinks you should wash your hair because it stinks apparently!!!!' (that was to prove her mind reading skills).  
  
one of vans chief advisors who had crept in said matter of factly' how can we believe that you are hitomi if we cannot see your 'original body'?'  
  
Hitomi looked up with sad green eyes.   
  
'allen could you come behind me and hold my upper left arm, van could you hold my waist please!'  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
hope that wasnt too confusing. it wasnt as short as i thought it would be. i kno my grammer is a lot of shite but it would take too long to go through it all and i dont have the time. the next chapter will be up soon!!!! (i hope!!!!)  
  
plz review, but if u hav to flame then i dont mind and ill take your comments into consideration!  
  
jess 


	3. chapter 2 pain

* * *  
  
Last time: -  
  
'This body,' motioning hers,' is not my actual body it is one that I made with my wishes. It is different in that it can take on any shape or form, and can read minds and become invisible. Oh and Allen? Merle thinks you should wash your hair because it stinks!!!!Quite right too' (That was to prove her mind reading skills).  
  
One of vans chief advisors who had crept in said matter of factly' how can we believe that you are Hitomi if we cannot see your 'original body'?'  
  
Hitomi looked up with sad green eyes.  
  
'Allen could you come behind me and hold my upper left arm, Van could you hold my waist please!'  
  
* * *  
  
Hitomi grimaced, screwing her eyes closed. Both Allen and Van felt Hitomi grip their arms really hard and clenched their teeth. Hitomi braced herself for the pain and entered a familiar trance.  
  
A few long seconds later Hitomi seemed to shrink in on herself. She became physically older in front of them. Her hair became dull, her face lost its shine and her body sagged letting Van and Allen take her weight.  
  
But nothing bad had happened and the advisor who had spoken up before stepped forward as if to say something when Hitomi shuddered and a single tear ran down her cheek.  
  
And before everyone in the room, Hitomi Kanzaki returned to her old beaten body. And the room became still and then full of gasps as the occupants saw the full extent of what Hitomi had been put through.  
  
And the main thought from everyone was, 'how did she survive like this. How is she even alive today?'  
  
You see Hitomi had had one of her emerald eyes brutally gouged out. The other scarred to blindness, the scar reaching down her cheek and past one temple into the hairline.  
  
Her left arm was non-existent below he elbow and you could see burns and part of the bone on the right. It also seemed to be broken, seeing as it was bent the wrong way.  
  
Her legs seemed to have been hamstringed so that she physically couldn't defend herself or go anywhere. She was paralysed.  
  
The amount of knife wounds and bullet wounds were frightening and Millerna was fretting herself silly. Even Merle seemed to have shut up, whilst Van could only love his Hitomi more and more. To have put up with all this.  
  
.And then he was angry. The veins standing out in his neck as to how much he had to restrain himself by reminding himself that Hitomi needed him more than he needed to hit something.  
  
Finally only when Hitomi managed for a second to hold onto her fading consciousness and scream, did the group come to their senses and send for the best healers in the realm. Hitomi was confined to her room and she had many visitors who slept ate and lived in that room with her.  
  
* * *  
  
When, a week later only Van was in the room, he decided to have a talk to him beloved without anyone else listening in. and furthermore since she had been being treated for a week already she should be able to understand what he was saying.  
  
As he walked over to her pallet where she lay in a fever, his words got choked in his throat when he saw how much pain she was in. her condition had brought back memories for all of her friends. Painful memories that needn't resurface, but which had anyway.  
  
Van let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding and shed a tear when Hitomi seemed to wake up knowing that he was there.  
  
'Van.' she rasped and he helped her to a drink of water before asking the one question he needed the answer to.  
  
. 'Are you in a lot of pain, Hitomi?'  
  
at this Hitomi laughed a cold mirthless laugh and answered in a chilling voice, 'pain is something you get used to after a while. It's the new pain that hurts, not the old.' And eyes (well technically eye) brimming with tears she lost consciousness.  
  
And Van saw what she thought, had come to believe. She believed that he no longer loved her. And he cried, before going to kick the hell out of an advisor, or something.  
  
~*~*~*  
  
thankx to all the reviewers and soz its been a long time!!!  
  
jess 


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